My Mother's Death, The Politics Of Hate And Pulp Fiction

This is a window into the Rube Goldberg way that my mind works.

I have had a really horrible year but I am very fortunate to have friends and family to support me. They have been here whenever I needed them and I know they will be there for me in the future as I am here for them.

That said, it has been incredibly difficult for me to grapple with the reality that many of the people I love and care for voted for a future that is the antithesis of everything that I believe in and what I thought they believed as well. Since I was born and raised in the Bible belt, most of my friends and relatives profess to be good Christians and on this Christmas day, it is those people that I am addressing.

I do not think that social media is the place for debate or contemplating any idea at any depth and that is not my intent. This is not an attempt to convince anyone that their choice was wrong. Instead, what follows is written to people I personally know that said they did not want to vote for the president elect, but did anyway.

It is the only way I can think to communicate how ripped apart I feel by your decision to support such a disgusting human being as the president elect. This train wreck of a rant began a couple weeks ago, but was put on hold when a series of events distracted me from my original purpose. 

Do not watch the videos if you have not seen the movies. There is psychological and/or graphic violence.

Like most of you I was shocked on November 8, 2016. But, unlike many of my friends, I was not sad; I was fucking furious! I was shocked that many of my family and friends bought into, or just plain ignored the race war nightmare scenarios painted by a terrifyingly thin skinned megalomaniac set on world domination. I was fucking furious that so many smart people voted to send a billionaire business man to "drain the swamp" that he owns and stands to make way more money from as president. The week after the election I wanted to send the Jew Bear to the front door of every single person that voted for the president elect.

Like most of you, I was shocked and offended by the fact that many of my family and friends voted for a person that openly hates women and I wanted them to suffer for their stupidity (women) and misogynist views (men). I have a really hard time wishing harm to any woman, but men.... I wanted every single man that voted for the president elect to suffer the agony of grabbing the Vagina Dentata. Of course, the president elect would be first in line for that gang bang.

But the thing that pissed me off the most was the fact that many of my family and friends insisted that they were not racist and that it was not their fault that there has been a huge spike in violent racist attacks and harassment since the president elect began his campaign. They insisted that they were not racist even though they voted for a man that openly encouraged the radical right's violence and has never apologized for his clearly racist and xenophobic rhetoric AND PROMISED he would implement policies and enact legislation and continue to encourage that same racist rhetoric. Every single time I saw my family or friends share or like a post on Facebook naysaying and denying a link or responsibility for the current state of affairs, I wanted to carve a swastika into that person's forehead. 

I did not post anything, or write anything in those first weeks of shock and anger. It stayed and simmered in my incredibly cluttered mind and as I tried to understand why intelligent people that I knew and trusted had chosen to repeat history, I grasped for logical explanations like the IllusaryTruth Effect and I slowly began to accept the fact that many of my family and friends were probably (hopefully) not able to acknowledge or even see their own prejudices. But, every time I heard one of them say that I had to give the president elect a chance because he won the election  ---> Butch: You okay? Marsellus: Nah man, I'm pretty fucking far from "okay".

Yesterday, December 24, 2016 I said good by to my mother. I was able to be alone with her one last time and thank her for my life, and her love, and her guidance. But, when I touched her beautiful cold skin for the last time, the overwhelming sadness I had somewhat successfully contained for the past month overwhelmed me. The grief burst from my chest and scraped my throat raw with its violence and intensity and I must admit that it has been hard to write, or even see through the blur of tears today. 

My world had already changed in every sense of that over used expression. Now the woman that gave me life is gone. Of course just her death would have had a tremendous psychological and potentially symbolic significance. But, by chance, her death is now linked in my mind with the death of my country. Or, to be less mellow dramatic, her death is now linked with the death of many of my dreams and the trust I had for many of my friends and family.

Those dreams have been replaced by a dystopian nightmare; A bad 1984 or a rehashed Hunger Games, where every day and with every cabinet appointment it gets worse. For example, the state that I live is literally no longer considered a democracy , the president elect actually said he did not need intelligence briefings and denied that there was a Russian hack and dismissed the overwhelming proof presented by US intelligence reports and yesterday a family member jokingly asked what was wrong with Carl Paladino's comments about the Obamas.

I am not a granola eating "damn libral" communist chasing utopian fantasies. I am just an average guy trying to come to terms with what just happened. Our next president won the election on a coded promise to "Make America Great Again" and a promise that he alone could fix America's problems. He has insisted that we wait and trust him to do the right thing. Anyone that has questioned his intentions or methods has been been mocked repeatedly with 140 characters, or has been attacked by his supporters, or worse.

On this religious holiday it has finally sunk in. OUR PRESIDENT ELECT IS A TERRORIST and if you are a Christian, as are most of my neighbors and many of my friends and family, I NOW understand your acceptance of his vision for the future. I NOW understand why you really could not vote for Hillary Clinton.

 “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” (1 Timothy 2:12)

I NOW understand why you applauded the idea of building a wall and bombing the hell out of your enemies because;

“Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.” (Deuteronomy 13:8-9)

Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity: Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and woman: but come not near any man upon whom is the mark; and begin at my sanctuary. Then they began at the ancient men which were before the house.” (Ezekiel 9:5-6)

“Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword. Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished.” (Isaiah 13:15-16)

I NOW understand your uncomfortable tolerance of me and for those that wish for compassion and equality for all humans;

“And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God.” (Deuteronomy 13: 5)

I NOW understand why you have enabled and why you encouraged the terrorism of your enemies. It is because YOU ARE ANGRY or YOU ARE AFRAID.

I did not agree with my mother's politics, but she was the person that taught me to never follow the herd. She also never tried to tell me what I should believe. Instead, she encouraged me to question conformity. Throughout my young life, if I ever mentioned wanting to have something or said I wanted to do something because everybody else was doing that, she would reply, "If all of your friends were running toward the edge of a cliff, would you follow them to your death?".

On this Christmas day in 2016 I wish my friends and family peace and happiness, but I will not follow you over the edge of that cliff. I will not support a leader that uses fear and now very real threats of violence and intimidation as a weapon to terrorize the people of our great country. And, more importantly, I will not tolerate those that condone his rhetoric or actions.

On this Christmas day I challenge you to consider the following;

I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:23-26)

I believe the passage above is the key aspect to being a true disciple of Christ. I literally just looked upon death, so these issues are weighing heavy on my mind. Each of us will die and we will take nothing with us when we go. To devote one's life to the accumulation of material wealth and power is useless. It is the antithesis of Christ's teaching. That idea is beautifully illustrated by the character Jacob Marley in the Christmas story Scrooge.

But the most import passage that the Christians that I know choose to ignore is;

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; (Matthew 5:44)

Since I have gone this far down the rabbit hole with my rambling quixotic rant; and since we have already crossed into an alternative reality run by a xenophobic celebrity game show host, I do not feel guilty about throwing out one more strange idea.

Pulp Fiction presents an incredibly effective examination of a Biblicalesque conversion by using a very unusual narrative sequence (Here is the movie rearranged in the correct sequence) to emphasize the results of interpreting an event as a miracle. The scene below happens at the end of the movie and functions as a comparison of the characters alternative interpretations of the event. At this point, we, the viewers know that John Travolta's character, Vincent Vega is dead. He did not believe in the miracle and there is a wonderful allusion to his own death scene in the final few seconds of this clip. Remember that Vincent Vega died right after he took a shit.

Samuel L. Jackson's character Jules Winnfield experiences the same event as Vincent Vega, but sees it as a miracle and here is my strange idea; His character is a direct reference to the biblical conversion of Saul. I believe that Jules character is a combination of Matthew and Saul. The Apostle Matthew was a Roman tax collector before his conversion. Jules was a drug lord's money collector/hit man. Both were bad hombres. Saul experienced a miraculous vision and was converted. He became the Apostle Paul. I make this assumption based on the fact that the biblical passage Jules repeats in the scene below is not the actual passage Ezekiel 25:17, but instead, a mashup of several quotes.

We have seen both characters actions and the subsequent results of their beliefs/actions. We are, at first glance, left to decide if what happened was luck or a miracle. But I ask you to consider a diferent question; Would you be able to accept this murderer as reborn and forgive him of his sins? Would you welcome Jules, the black murderer, that clearly has been converted, into your life and into your home? 

I personally know someone that has made this conversion. He was a very bad hombre and has turned his life around. He is tortured and tested everyday and I try to be there when he needs support because he asked for my help. He has given up evil to follow Christ and has forsaken material wealth. Could you give up your possessions and wealth to devote yourself to an altruistic existence? I know that I am not strong enough to do that. "But I'm trying real hard." 

So on this Christmas Day, I thank my family and friends for their love and care. If you voted for the president elect, I have not come to grips with your decision. We are on the opposite sides of a terrible wall and it troubles me greatly that you support a terrorist and the antithesis of Christian values. But, I love you still. 

And I will challenge you to live by the passage that I live by;

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28)

I am a very small and insignificant part of an incredibly large and complex web of interactions and relationships. My opinions and actions do not affect that many people, but, I know that at any moment, I may become the tipping point or causal action for a cascading sequence of events that could change the world. And so can you. If there is a God, she courses through our veins at this very moment. I know with my heart and head that each and every one of us is a single cell in the body of that God, and that is the reason why such horrible people like our president elect thrive. He is a cancerous tumor spreading hate and fear into your heads and hearts. 

I, on the other hand, have this one life to live and my time is the most precious gift that I have to give.

So, I sincerely thank you for spending a few moments of your time with me and suffering through my cathartic rambling.

Now excuse me because "I'm gonna take a shit".  😜